How To (Start A Vacation)

Show up to work early. Must accomplish everything.

Accomplish lots of things, but not everything.

Turn on automatic reply at 8:00pm, proceed to actually reply to next four emails received. Frantically email every potential “loose end” and apologetically explain that you’ll be out for the next three business days. (Still forget at least one loose end.)

Stop at grocery for easy dinner. And dog food. And toilet paper for friend who is dogsitting. And a beer. Just one, but one… yes.

Arrive home, clean up puppy-chewed miscellany bits. Let dogs out. Feed dogs. Sit. Eat. Drink singular beer. Check social media. Check work email. Reel a little more at the thought of all I should have done and should be doing. Should be working. Should be cleaning. Should be packing.


I have no idea how to take a vacation.

“Hey Siri, Facetime Mom.”